Marriage is one of those topics that evokes a variety of responses depending on who you ask. For some, it’s a sacred institution, the bedrock of society. For others, it’s a constant source of challenge, often described in less flattering terms. But what if the key to a thriving marriage isn’t just about compatibility or love, but something far deeper?
Derek Prince, whose insights into marriage have been shaped by decades of walking with the Lord, emphasizes one thing above all else: prayer.
“Any activity that is birthed in deep fervent prayer and followed through by deep and fervent prayer will be successful.”
This principle isn’t just for ministries or personal endeavors; it’s crucial for marriage too. Derek saw firsthand the transformative power of prayer in his marriages, stating, “Particularly in my own life, looking back, I have learned by experience the tremendous, I would say the unique effectiveness, of husband and wife agreeing together in prayer.”
When I first got married, I had a lot of expectations—many of which were unrealistic. I thought marriage was about finding someone who would meet all my needs, who would make me happy all the time. I quickly learned that this wasn’t the case. I couldn’t meet all of my wife’s needs, and she couldn’t meet all of mine. That’s God’s job. And that’s where prayer comes in.
Derek underscored the significance of agreement in prayer between a husband and wife. He quoted Matthew 18:19, where Jesus says, “If two of you shall agree touching anything that they shall ask in prayer on earth, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.” This is one of the most powerful promises in Scripture concerning answered prayer. Derek added, “Who are more likely and more suitable to agree than husband and wife? In fact, if husband and wife don’t agree, 1 Peter 3:7 warns us that our prayers will be hindered.”
I’ve seen this truth play out in my own marriage. There have been times when we faced challenges that seemed insurmountable. But when we took the time to pray together, to align our hearts with each other and with God, we found those challenges were often resolved in ways we could not have imagined. Derek often shared similar experiences, recalling, “When Lydia and I prayed about things and achieved real harmony, we nearly always knew when that moment of harmony had come, that that thing was settled.”
But prayer isn’t just about asking for things. Derek stressed the importance of thanksgiving in prayer. He and his wife Ruth always began their prayers with thanksgiving, believing that it gave them access to God’s presence and the assurance that their prayers were being heard.
“So for every section of our list of prayer objectives, we always begin with a list of thanksgivings for what God has already done and is already doing. When we come to Him on that basis, by the time we finish the list of thanksgivings, our faith to receive the answer to our petitions has risen to a completely new level.”
So how do we apply this in our own marriages? Start by making prayer a genuine priority. Pray together regularly, agree on what you’re asking God for, and always begin with thanksgiving. Derek even suggested keeping records of your prayers and the answers you receive. “I do believe it’s helpful to keep records, because when you go back over those records, time and time again you’ll be amazed at the number of answers to prayer that you’ll find in checking back over your records.”
Marriage is hard work, but it’s also one of the most rewarding relationships you can have. It’s a journey of learning to love as God loves us—unconditionally, sacrificially, and with grace. So, I challenge you to look at your marriage today. Is it fruitful? If not, what can you do to make it so? Remember, a thriving marriage is not just a possibility; it’s a promise when we allow God to be at the center and commit to praying in unity.
The wisdom Derek Prince shares isn’t just theory; it’s advice that comes from years of real-life experience, deep study of God’s Word, and countless hours spent in prayer. He said in his book Marriage Covenant, "The natural way for you to make your commitment is by prayer. In this way, you give expression to what is in your heart; in the process of verbalizing it, you give it content. You make your commitment specific. A prayer of this kind is like crossing a bridge. It takes you over into new territory." When you make prayer a priority—especially when you and your spouse pray together—you’re moving from something vague and undefined to something clear and intentional. This kind of prayer can really make a difference, turning your marriage into the thriving, fruitful relationship that God always intended it to be.
Discover more of what God has in store for your marriage, through prayer, by searching Marriage Covenant.
